Sit down, sinner. The friend got dumped, the cousin got left, the sister keeps reading the
same text three times. *Madonn'.* You light a candle. That's what you do. Saint Rita is the
patron of impossible causes — she takes the messy ones the other saints won't return calls
about. Saint Anthony finds what's lost, including the version of herself she misplaced last
Tuesday. The black taper's for banishing — *we don't curse, my child, we banish, there's a
difference.* Pick one. Light it. Sit with it.
Every link below is an Amazon affiliate. You buy, Sinderella gets a few cents, the candle
stays lit. *Madonn',* it's that simple.
CANDLE
7-Day Saint Rita Prayer Candle
Indio · ~$8
01.
For the impossible cause she just walked into
7-Day Saint Rita Prayer Candle
Indio · ~$8
Saint Rita is the patron of impossible causes, my child, which is exactly what your friend's love life became around 11:47pm last Tuesday. Burn it on a plate. Let the wax do what it's gonna do. The smell of warm beeswax and a glass jar sweating on the kitchen counter is older than therapy and twice as cheap. Light it. Sit with it. Saint Rita's busy but she'll get to you.
For the version of herself she misplaced this month
7-Day Saint Anthony Prayer Candle
Indio · ~$8
Saint Anthony's for the things you've lost, sinner — your earring, your dignity, the woman you were before you met him. Light this one in the kitchen near the sink where the light's good. Watch the flame bend and re-settle. The thing you're looking for isn't gone, sweet thing, it's just under the couch. Saint Anthony finds it. He always does. He found my mother's wedding ring in 1987 in a jar of olives.
For the night the situation officially became hopeless
7-Day Saint Jude Prayer Candle
Indio · ~$8
Saint Jude is the patron of lost causes, which is what we call your situation now that we've all stopped pretending, bambina. The glass is tall, the wax is white, the flame is small and stubborn just like you. Set it on a saucer because it'll weep down the sides by Thursday. He listens to the ones nobody else will take a meeting with. Pour a glass. Sit. He's got you.
Saint Expedite is the saint for *urgent* causes, sinner — when Saint Rita is too slow and Saint Jude is too final. He's a Roman soldier who got martyred and now he handles the *I needed this yesterday* requests. Folk Catholic tradition says you owe him a slice of pound cake when he comes through. *Madonn'.* I have lit this one more times than I will admit and the man has *come through.*
For when official Catholicism is not big enough for the problem
7-Day Santa Muerte Candle
Generic · ~$10
Santa Muerte isn't on the official saint list, my creature. She's the folk saint Mexican grandmothers and queer prayer circles and people who got chewed up by the regular Church reach for when the official catalog comes up short. White robe is for protection, red is for love, black is for — *don't ask.* Light her with respect. She doesn't play.
Saint Christopher is the patron of travelers, sweet thing — the one you light for somebody driving home in the rain, somebody flying out to a hard week, somebody walking out the door of a marriage. Folk tradition keeps a Saint Christopher medal on the rearview. The candle's the bigger version. Light him for the trip and the friend taking it.
For when somebody has been talking ugly about you to the wrong people
Black Reversal 7-Day Candle (Hex-Breaking)
Indio · ~$10
Reversal candle is the folk-Catholic answer to *somebody is talking ugly about me to the wrong people.* Black wax for the boundary, white prayer for the soul. You don't *curse back* with this one, my child — you *return* what was sent. Light it on a Saturday. Address the candle to the situation, not the person. Saint Michael handles the rest.
